i don’t do mornings

a couple of months ago i broke up with my snooze button. i realised our so-called relationship wasn’t leading anywhere and i felt exhausted every morning after spending an hour in bed snoozing. i admit, there has been a few minor setbacks, but on the whole, this decision has made me so much happier. combined with my wake up light i now open my eyes without feeling pissed off at the world and i manage to at least look like i enjoy getting up before 11.

that was until i met my neighbours snooze button. oh. my. god. (remember janice from friends?….) i HATE my neighbour and his [insert optional swearwords] snoozing nokia. he keeps it lying on the floor next to his bed (i.e. that would be right above my head) and the original alarm goes off around 6.30. since he hasn’t shared my enlightenment yet he pushes the snooze button. five minutes – not ten – later it goes off again. and again and again and again AND AGAIN. until around 8.45. EVERY FIVE MINUTES! the worst part is that it doesn’t matter if he’s in bed anymore, he might be taking a shower or eating breakfast or whatever but that goddamned fuckin’ nokia just lies there on the floor with its even more goddamned vibrating battery. you know that buzzing sound a vibrating phone makes… well, it buzzes 30 times before it shuts itself off (for five minutes). yes. i’ve counted.

now you might ask why i don’t tell my neighbour about my slight irritation. the thing is that i might have a slight temper, but i forget so easily. sure, i want to throw his phone under the next tram every morning, but by the time i get home from work later in the day and would have time to go knock on his door, i have already forgotten how my morning started.

so what to do? buy him an old-fashioned alarm clock? get his phone number and call him (not a good idea since i just might threaten his life or something at 6.45….)? get his e-mail address and mail him a link to my blog? any ideas?

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7 comments

  1. Sandy · · Reply

    You should go to bed earlier, and then you happily get up at 6.45 😛 (I would love to see that miracle happen :D)

    1. i don’t understand what you’re talking about.

  2. Marko · · Reply

    Duct tape+cellphone+ceiling+00:00+01:0+02:00+03:00+04:00+05:00+06:00
    And spending the night somewhere else at the same time.

    1. great idea!! 😀

  3. Stefan · · Reply

    Convince him to upgrade to a modern smartphone whose battery lasts for an hour and dies upon snoozing too often.

    1. i recently got a new phone, i can give him my old one!

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