happy new year?

i have a confession to make. i hate new year’s eve. when i was younger i actually used to cry the whole evening – out of fear for the unknown i suppose.

don’t get me wrong, there have been some fun new year’s along the way – some people (yes sis, love you too) still like to tease me about the time i .. well .. took a nap on the tram and ended up in a completely different part of town – but mostly, this has been a night full of angst in some way.

happy new year 2010

2009 was the worst year in history for me. it started out horribly and simply got worse along the way. it was the first time ever i actually longed for new year’s eve but when it drew nearer so did the anxieties. the year i was leaving behind might have been awful, but knowing what lay ahead of me didn’t really get me jumping with joy. somehow however, with the help of three wonderful friends, i managed to have the funniest new year ever – followed by the worst hangover in years. not a good idea to watch avatar 3D that day i tell you…

anyway. 2010 is finally coming to an end. for the first time in… hm.. perhaps ever, i have absolutely no idea what lies in store for me come the new year. and it scares the living hell out of me, but at the same time i feel excited. a big part of me wants to do a rerun of last year’s crazy party, but another part has decided it’s time for something else. it’s time for a fresh start, away from what’s comfortable and safe. it’s not only a new year that’s coming, it’s a new decade, a new era. and it’s time for me to get out of this country.

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