oh holy day

pardon my french (again) but fuck this day. i have said it before, and i’ll say it again. i hate new year’s. there’s no denying it, i simply hate it.


woke up with the usual new year-anxiety. couldn’t really understand why since i have been looking forward to 2011 so much. until it hit me. if i turn it around i will no longer have reasons to say i’m just going along – wait ’til next year, that’ll be the year. i can no longer hide. i can no longer give good reasons for staying. and it will no longer be the year my father died. speaking of, i have wanted to call him all day. hear his comforting voice. haven’t missed him this much for a very long time.

hence, i have not been fun to be around today, sorry for all the pissed off-messages and phone calls some of you have received. i can assure you my day got worse after i boarded the plane and had to shut down my phone and laptop…

first we couldn’t take off due to the flight computer not working. then we couldn’t take off due to bad weather in brussels (and i can bet my head on the weather as usual being worse in helsinki, but our armada of snow ploughs made sure the snow didn’t bother us.) 1h35min after estimated departure time we were finally at the defrosting area. that’s when it happened. the tears. suddenly they started rolling. everything just felt so wrong.

half an hour later we got something to eat. tuna. fuckin’ pasta salad with tuna. the only thing i hate more than tuna is liver. and pea soup. of course the salad was sprinkled with peas. i almost started laughing at how miserably shitty day this turned out to be, but i didn’t dare. too many possible obstacles before i’d reach my destination..

like the captain telling us the computer stopped working again, we can’t find our parking spot (yes, those were his exact words – really happy we were already on the ground by then), delayed luggage, a missed bus, a missed train and a taxi driver that did not know where the street i wanted to go to is. needless to say he didn’t know any english and i did not have a map other than the one in my head.

i promised C i would water their plants, but i think i will leave the watering of the orchids for tomorrow… the only orchid i’ve ever owned i managed to kill in ten days. i have a feeling this is not a good day for watering someone else’s orchids.

and i definitely need to do something about my french.


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