* Winnie the Pooh of course.
the other day a colleague and i got into a discussion about how in it seems to be these days to have a diagnosis. to see a psychologist. to be on medication. there have always been problems in people’s lives; sorrows and griefs, hardships and crises. why is it that people nowadays don’t seem to be able to cope on their own?
talking to her about it, i once again remembered the post i was thinking of writing a few weeks ago already (if you remember me promising a text in english as well.) i never got around to it because i couldn’t really find the words. still don’t know if i have them, but feeling a bit post-thoughtful (!) and giving it a shot nevertheless.
i have lost count on how many times people carefully have asked me these last two years if i perhaps should “get some help”… quite understandable with all things going on in my life, and nothing wrong with people who do see someone or eat something. but.. throughout history people have coped with illness, deaths and all sorts of depressing issues without shrinks or meds. and that’s the way i was raised to do it. to cope. on my own. so that’s what i tried to do. not the best of ideas, but hey, what can you do.
something was happening though. there were cracks in the wall. and in due course the wall fell. no, it crashed. and i learnt the perhaps biggest lesson in my life so far. to trust. to really lean on people. to let go and let others take care of things. take care of me. the true meaning of friendship.
to all you amazing people, you who have let me be on my own when i have asked for privacy, but who have also steadily been only two steps behind (don’t think i didn’t notice you watching over me, i was just too tired to react,) you who have taken me on trips, made me food, sent me books, chocolates, wine, long handwritten letters and virtual hugs, been there on the other end of the phone when i was crying on my kitchen floor, on the other side of the computer screen when i couldn’t sleep but was too tired to talk, here in finland or somewhere else in europe…
thank you. i would not be where i am today without you. whole again. strong again. choosing happiness again.