i attended a yoga workshop on saturday. i still feel the consequences in form of pain in muscles i didn’t even know i had. but i also feel it in form of an altered state of mind. i have faced a lifelong fear and conquered it: i stood on my hands. and i did this not only once but several times – by the end of the session without help from anyone (well, i was using the wall for my spider-man-like moves, but still, no-one was there to catch me if i lost focus)..
since childhood i’ve been afraid of falling down flat on my head and getting myself killed or paralysed, a fear that has led me to be extremely cautious. for instance, when the other kids were hanging upside down in various climbing frames i stayed safely on the ground. later, in my teens, when my back started bugging me, i could always use that as an excuse for not participating in gymnastics or riding the upsidedown-rides at the funfair. to be honest, i’ve been using my poor back as an excuse for quite a lot. and the more i’ve blamed on it, the worse the pain has become. it’s been a vicious circle, impossible to get out of. until i simply had enough last month and decided this was it, the end of an era. with mere willpower, my back has slowly been getting better ever since, and my mood has followed. or perhaps it’s the other way around?…
anyway, signing up for this workshop, knowing i will have to stretch my limits to the extreme and beyond, was some sort of graduation for me. would i be able to do it, would my back survive?
needless to say, my back is pretty much the only part of my body not hurting today. and my spiritual side is cheering like never before. after years of practicing yoga halfheartedly i’m finally starting to really get it – it’s all in your mind. if you can dream it, you can do it – you just have to believe in it.
you just have to believe in yourself.
*satya, or truthfulness, is the yama that is about living a truthful life without doing harm to others. to practice satya, one must think before he speaks and consider the consequences of his action. if the truth could harm others, it might be better to keep silent.