ok. time to get serious for a while.
in case some of you hadn’t got it yet, i’m a swedish speaking finn. i live in finland, my family comes from finland, i was born and raised here, i went to school here, and i got my master’s degree here (which is convinently also where i work at the moment). all in swedish. my finnish is terrible (no, i’m really not kidding, it started out badly and it’s gotten worse), i don’t feel any connection to the finnish culture (tango, sauna, a cottage by a lake) – my culture is strictly finlandssvensk (snaps songs, a house by the sea).
please do note however that i’m not saying one is better than the other, just that they differ completely, and i personally cannot see myself ever being part of the lake people.
and i admit, i am a bad finlandssvensk these days. very bad. you see, i’ve given up. given in. accepted defeat. i flee the country every chance i get. i write this blog in english, which is also my natural choice of language on my iThings and on web pages i sign up on. i have long since stopped reading hbl, i do not watch yle fem, i do not listen to radio x3m nor radio vega. god knows i’ve always hated the moomins (no, not even going to link that, really detest those creatures. i’ll take angry birds any day instead). i couldn’t care less what goes on in the duck pond (ankdammen), etc etc etc.
you want to know why? i’m scared. and i’ve had it. i do not want to be affiliated with a country where this is starting to become everyday news. i don’t care if our welfare system is top notch. i don’t care if our school system is supposed to be so great (mind you, i don’t think it is, but that’s a completely other story, one to agitate the ones not yet enough upset by my views on those awful tove jansson critters). i do not feel at home in my homeland anymore. and you know what. i do not care.
and as soon as i’ve taken care of the problems at hand at gerby, and gotten rid of this damned tiredness that i’ve been feeling lately, i’m continuing my job hunt. call me a traitor or coward if you like, but i’m getting out of this godforsaken country.