my washing machine – the basket case.

My washing machine has apparently developed alzheimer’s. It has good intentions when it starts off, but after a while it forgets what it’s been told to do, and just decides to sit down and wait for… something. Further instructions mainly. Or the end of the world. I don’t really know.

The symptoms came on slowly; I didn’t at first even notice there was a problem. Instead I blamed myself. I thought I had put on the wrong programme, or turned off the spinning by mistake. But then the evening came when I opened the hatch and out flooded about five litres of warm water. Wtf.. since when does a washing machine allow you to open the door with water still in it?

From that first time, its condition has deteriorated quickly.

I can no longer wash anything in 60 degrees. Those programmes will not even start. The 75 degree programme does start, but after 15 minutes, the thingamabob is as silent and still as the dead parrot in Monty Python. At least two of the five different 40 degree programmes are defect as well, stopping mid-cycle, and not even warming up the water. The other three, as well as the 30 degree programmes, I still need to test.

Whichever programme I choose, I have to switch manually to rinsing, and between the second and third rinse, stroke the old sweetheart a little (=give it a good punch)… otherwise it will just sit there with a confused clucking sound till hell freezes over. After the third rinse, and depending on how well-targeted the smack was, it will move on to spinning. Or not. Sometimes there’s a good possibility to wash the floor again, just open the hatch, and reuse the water at hand.

If you do get the fossil to remember to spin, you have to sit on the loo with your legs stretched out to keep it in place… if you fail to remember this particular part, you will be rudely reminded by a sound your neighbours might sue you for, not to mention you’ll meet the apparatus in the bathroom door when you run over. Rest assured, the medusa will not easily be lead back to its proper place once it’s seen there’s a whole new world out there to explore. Been there, done that.

Trying to track down a caring facility for the damned thingummy, hoping for a cure. After all, it’s not even that old, it just became a teenager. Sigh.

going to narnia.

prince caspian? you there?


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