Oh my, I had no idea you would find my year so interesting. Views on my blog peaked yesterday, and I’ve been receiving FB-messages all night from people waiting to read the rest of it. I’m all what?… I just like writing, that’s all.. But I’m glad to see you like reading what I write, so without further ado, I’ll jump right back into the summer anno 2013.
The only month I stayed in Finland. Did not spend an hour even of it in Helsinki though. Devoted most of my time to the great outdoors. Watched my house being turned inside out (23 big black trash bags of wet sawing dust was dug out from underneath the entrance alone), and took refuge to my brother’s place a few times. Actually so many times that my lovely little niece/god-daughter asked me if I don’t have a life of my own. Or something similar… When she’s old enough, I’ll tell her.
The house madness culminated when I returned from a few days holiday away from holiday and found the loo standing proudly on my porch. There’s a sight I’ll never forget.
Returned reluctantly to Helsinki and my proper day-job. The feeling of being misplaced was as great as it had been these last couple of years, with the difference that I didn’t have a goal to pursue, a dream to catch. I noticed a slight nagging tone in my voice whenever I opened my mouth. Blah blah blah.
Did however go out and enjoy myself thoroughly one night here in town. Managed to get the hangover of the year. Which even my mother thinks was worth it, as that was the same night lightning struck Gerby…
Got on a plane due south and spent a nice weekend in Copenhagen. I noticed I’m blessed with a highly effective board, and I felt more than proud when I presented our ideas for the adult board. Come evening party, I let my hair down. And that’s when it happened.
You know how some people just get to you. They see straight through you, they might know you far better than you had ever realised, and when they speak, you actually listen. There I was, jumping around so much that my curls straightened out by themselves, when suddenly one of those people told me he’s looking forward to reading the book about my house. Still pumped up after the crazy dance, I laughed it off, but he was dead serious. No Chia, he said, you need to write.
I know, I answered.
Absolutely flabbergasted after this huge revelation, things started accelerating fast around me. It took a while before I felt confident enough I could share it with anyone though. I wrote a post that received a huge response, and signed up for a course in coaching (turned out to be more personal development really) in London. Noticed I had a new-found energy at work, mostly because I again had a dream to chase. A very tangible dream this time. A dream I knew I’ve always had, but never dared to believe in. Even though my brother, the journalist, had a few comments that kept me firmly on the ground…
My diary was as filled up as it used to be all those years ago when I enjoyed life to the fullest. Oh, how I love being a busy bee. Almost as much as I love being completely and utterly alone.
The pieces of the puzzle just kept on falling into place. I kept working like nothing had changed, but in the evenings I was studying the huge world of blogging, ordering books on getting published, and planning my effective week in London. One late night I changed the layout here on Management by Chia, and only hours later I got a phone call. I couldn’t but laugh. I’ve never gotten the hang of applying for jobs, they seem to come to me when I’m ready for them.
Went to London with the oldest niece, and upon entering the gate we did something symbolical. We left all fears and anxieties behind, we even waved at them. I had been quite worried about returning to London, and was happy to see last January hadn’t done any permanent damage.
I hardly had unpacked when I was off again. Naples this time. A dirty little city, but oh how nice with 26 degrees in November. The flight home took forever though, and I was happy the darkness of last spring had left me when I went to work a few hours later early Monday morning.
Had not only one, but two, serious walks down memory lane in a row, and started sensing a real change in who I have become. Unfortunately not everyone seems to notice, or like it, which saddens me at times. Be that as it may, I have, lived long enough to understand that’s not my problem. This is who I am, take it or leave it.
Spent month’s end in Germany, at the Petersberg. What a wonderful place, I could easily have stayed there longer. Especially with Gerby being the mess it still is. The flight home however made the one from Naples seem like a walk in the park. It was, indisputably, the worst flight of my life, and I was far from the only one silently taking out the little cheat-sheet to check where all emergency exits are located. No need for anything similar ever again, thank you.
I don’t really know how to sum up a month that has felt like the shortest and the longest of the year. It’s had its fair share of weird moments, but it’s been mostly good. As I wrote some ten days ago, I had started to notice a lower thyroxine level again, so I really had to focus not to fall into exhaustion and darkness. But all the walks down memory lane I experienced during the whole of November, and early December really made me realise some very valuable things.
Having pondered upon them in silence during Christmas (and most especially during the holy pyjamas-day when you’re not allowed to dress in anything else than PJs), I’m now quite clear on exactly what to take with me into 2014, and what to leave behind once and for all. I can feel I still have some missing pieces to the puzzle, and I’m quite confident some huge surprises are heading my way this coming year.
I’m not spending this New Years abroad like I swore I would. But you know what. It’s quite okay (spending it with this nutter instead). After all, London is calling once again next week (if only for a few days) and if there’s something I’ve learnt these last few years, it’s that a lesson will present itself until you’ve learnt what you need from it. And I just have a feeling that vibrant city and I are not done with each other yet.
2013 – thank you for all the lessons.
2014 – I’m ready.