Had an internal struggle with myself regarding what kind of blog post to write today.
“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter–tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther…. And one fine morning– So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
You see, I have two options. I can either do “It’s all right. Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.” (from the episode with the male nanny) or then I can repeat the Chanel-quote I used on Facebook yesterday: “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
Let’s rewind a bit….
Spent a most lovely long weekend in Brussels. It was sunny and warm, and I met friends from near and far. Enjoyed some truly flipped-out discussions, and learnt a lot of weird facts about pretty much all things possible.
But I also learnt some things that threw me back a few years to a life I once dearly wished I’d have.
That one little comment, said in passing, didn’t even hit me hard at first. But combining it with a later, as unsuspecting, note added insult to injury, and suddenly I found myself realising exactly how many unresolved feelings that I need to deal with before my own new beginnings can come.
“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”
I can, if I want to, start crying about it here on the blog. Obsessing over how my life is not at all turning out the way I wanted it to. Reminiscing about endless nights in Paris when everything was still possible. Comparing them to utterly hilarious times pretty much anywhere in between. Wondering what went wrong. And when. Not to mention why.
“He talked a lot about the past, and I gathered that he wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving Daisy. His life had been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place and go over it all slowly, he could find out what that thing was ….”
Or then not. I can let it stay at a short remark that I’m currently chewing on a bitter pill I thought I had gotten rid of already (a box of bitter pills to be honest), and turn to what’s good instead.
“I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this lawn and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him.”
Like chocolate. Chocolate is always good. Except if it contains a cherry. I fekkin’ hate those pralines with a cherry in the middle. Who came up with such an awful idea?
And friends. True friends. The ones that are value adding, the ones you can always count on. The ones that are as limited edition as I am. Even though they are sometimes bitchy…
As problems seem to gather in every corner, I’ve come to realise how much I really rely on my female friends. How much they really mean to me. Especially if they come equipped with chocolate and champagne.
“I was enjoying myself now. I had taken two finger bowls of champagne and the scene had changed before my eyes into something significant, elemental and profound.”
Following the 12 laws of karma, I’m going to leave those bitter pills where I found them and end this post by saying I think me and my entourage would’ve kicked some serious ass in the roaring twenties. With a bottle of bubbly in one hand, and a piece of luxurious chocolate in the other, charming every great Gatsby we might meet. Letting a dramatic tear roll down if needed, but always staying classy and fabulous.
“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.”
Life is what you make it.
If you by any chance didn’t recognise the block quotes, click here…